More Stories - Community Corner Editorial

It seems like I've been in a season of stories here recently. I don't know if its just me, but it also seems like a lot of other people have been as well. As I sat in church this past Sunday morning, Kyle Idleman's sermon was based on stories. He was teaching about Hebrews 11, which is full of stories of heroes of the faith. Kyle said that many times when we describe our faith, we use language of feeling rather than something tangible. Hebrews 11 is full of tangible, real stories that demonstrate authentic faith in God. So when referring to faith, Kyle said "We know faith must be  more than feeling, because if you're going to act in faith, God will call you to do things you don't feel like doing."

Kyle proposed the idea that we know faith is actually authentic when its tested. He goes on to say that "When I ask you if you have faith, what I'm asking for is a story." He also says that "faith always has a story attached to it."

I think faith always has a story attached to it because stories are such powerful tools for communicating concepts that cannot be understood any other way. Stories connect us in a way that nothing else can. Stories of faith are the story of God. As I've mentioned before, your story is my story and my story is your story because our story is God's story.

So to get to what I was actually intending to blog about today - here is the latest Community Corner editorial I wrote for the program I run at the Y. Its centered around - you guessed it - stories. More specifically, its centered around the idea that stories connect us to each other and build community. So without going on too much more, here's December's Community Corner:

I was watching the Today Show about a month ago while I was eating breakfast. They featured a story of a family from Arizona who had lost their daughter in a snowboarding accident the previous winter. A couple of YouTube videos that the 13 year-old girl had posted before her death showed that she had a very bubbly, loving personality. When hearing her parents speak of the accident, the pain and brokenness was evident in their voices. Why would such a tragedy take place to such a wonderful young person?

The family received what they believed to be an answer to this question the spring following their daughter’s death. The accident that had taken their daughter’s life had only affected her head and neck, so the family decided to donate her organs. 

Meanwhile, a mother of two children was in desperate need of a new heart after she began experiencing heart failure at the age of 40. After receiving the heart, the woman began searching for the family from whom the heart had come. After some time, the families were finally able to connect. It was obvious that both the parents of the teen who was involved in the accident, as well as the mother who had received the heart, had tremendous love for one another.

By this time tears were running down my cheeks. My heart broke for the family who had lost their daughter. The joy of giving and redemption in how the teen’s heart gave new life to another brought on tears of happiness. 

See, stories have tremendous power. In their truest form, they relate life in a way that we can all understand. They tell of heartache and fear, pain and tears, laughter and joy, life and love. They relate emotions with which we can all identify on some level. Stories tell us about community.

Community is built around stories. When we are open and honest enough to tell others of our trials and failures, as well as our successes and hope, we are allowing them into our lives in a more meaningful way. We are enabling our stories to intersect with others’ stories in such a way that neither person walks away the same. When I share my story with others, and others share with me, it is no longer my story or their story – rather it becomes our story.

A few weeks ago, our Y-CAP guys had the opportunity to share their stories with the group. This is always a day that changes and shapes the group in a way no other lesson could. The stories are powerful when they are shared with an audience who genuinely cares and wants to become part of that story. It was amazing to see guy after guy get up and tell stories of how disappointment, hurting and brokenness have been transformed into stories of hope.

There’s a reason why stories, when shared, go from just being about me to being about us. Our stories which tell of trials and end in redemption are the story of God. As humans, we live out God’s story every day as we are involved in the messiness of life, yet find redemption at the Cross. A recent article in Neue Magazine put it this way: “When we, any of us who have been transformed by Christ, tell our own stories, we’re telling the story of who God is.”

My story is your story and your story is my story because our story is God’s story.

As we enter the holiday season, take time to experience community by telling your story. Listen to others stories. Remember the ultimate story of redemption that began on Christmas, the holiday we celebrate to remember Jesus’ birth. It’s through this story of redemption that my story becomes your story and your story becomes my story. At the Cross, our stories intersect in the most meaningful way and lead to the truest form of community.

Great Thanksgiving Article

With Thanksgiving just a couple of days away now, most people are looking forward to one thing - all the great shopping deals they'll get on Black Friday.

While I'll admit that seeing the ads and the promises of a 52" Plasma HDTV for only 99 cents (ok, I'm exaggerating here), I feel like its at least worth taking the time to reflect on the significant rather than overlook it for the insignificant.

Relevant Magazine has published a great Thanksgiving article. Its definitely thought provoking and worth checking out if you get a chance.

So back to the reason we celebrate Thanksgiving - what we're thankful for.

I'm thankful for a family that provided a foundation upon which I can stand and grow. I'm thankful for parents who always pointed me to Christ in every situation I encountered growing up.

I'm thankful for pumpkin pie.

I'm thankful for an amazing fiance who has the mutual understanding that our relationship together is not possible without first having our full focus on God.

I'm thankful that my grandpa is recovering from heart surgery - which is nothing short of a miracle.

I'm thankful for the chaos that ensues at any family gathering we have. I'm thankful that every family gathering is not complete unless there are at least 50 people and 8 - 10 dogs.

I'm thankful for a church where I can grow in community and Christ.

I'm thankful that God has given me the opportunity to carry his message and reveal his love to those who are often neglected (because I know how I am so unworthy of this undertaking).

Looking at my life, I find I have so much to be thankful for. The list could go on and on and on and on and on and - well you get the point! Since Thanksgiving is a time for reflection and celebration on what we're thankful for, what are you thankful for?

Francis Chan Interview

Yesterday was an interesting day.

First, I woke up not feeling too great, only to find out I've got an ear infection and a sinus infection - but luckily its not all that bad. However, I guess its time to come clean and admit that when I get sick, I'm really whiny. I've had several girls tell me that they think all guys get really whiny when they get sick, including my fiance Ashley (who has a blog now by the way, you should check it out!)

However, I don't think that all guys are simply wimps about being sick the way girls want to make us sound. I've got a couple of theories on guys and sickness that might further explain why we become whiny. First, most of us have grown up with mothers who have taken care of us when we were sick as kids. Now that we've grown up, what's the next best substitute to a guy's mom taking care of him when he's sick? You guessed it - his wife or girlfriend!

The next theory I have for why guys are really whiny and kind of shut down for a day or two when they're sick is because we're always going and working hard. Now before I go any further, let me qualify this previous statement by saying that I'm not insinuating that women don't work hard. In fact, some of the hardest working people I know are females.

However, men tend to take on more of a role of a provider in their work. We also tend to let down our guard a lot less often. So when we get sick, its a chance to change our roles around, if only for a day. Instead of being the provider, we are being provided for. Instead of having our guard up, we let it down and allow our feelings and emotions to show a bit more.

While these theories are not completely exhaustive in explaining whininess among the male species when sick - and I'm sure there are plenty of women out there who can poke plenty of holes in these explanations - they're the best I have come up with so far. So women, take note - when a guy is sick, let him have a day or two and then things will get back to normal!

Back to my interesting day yesterday. Instead of staying home from work, I decided to suck it up and go in. I'm glad I did because not only did I get a lot of work done, but I had the opportunity to be challenged by a video that I watched and a blog that I read.

First, the video that I watch was an interview with Francis Chan. This interview is around 25 minutes long and is definitely worth checking out if you get the chance.

Next, my friend Charlie Landis wrote a great blog on the "What Ifs" of life. Essentially, it challenged me to take a look at my life and ask a lot of "what if" questions that I'm not sure I know the answer to.

In his interview, Francis Chan said something that really resonated with me. Chan said "When we do church in the corporate model we have right now...we find ourselves doing a lot of things other than discipleship and ministry." Chan reasoned that the biggest calling of Christ followers is to stay consistent with Mathew 28:19- 20 by going and making disciples. He went on to say that in ministry, in its traditional sense, there are a lot of activities that take place that are not consistent with going and making disciples. He said that he was finding that, in his life, ministry was actually beginning to mean spending less time in prayer, in the Word and in discipleship. This was something with which he was not pleased.

Now I don't work in ministry in the traditional sense of the word, but it really got me asking a lot of "What If" questions about the activities I do have to partake in as part of my work I do at the Y.  I find myself identifying with Chan in a lot of areas because, while some of the stuff I do is important, I'm finding more and more areas where I'm focusing too much energy on the wrong endeavors.

What if I spent less time trying to write life changing lessons and more time in authentic relationships with students that will change their lives?

What if I spent less time worrying and complaining about decisions our leadership makes and more time praying?

What if I spent less time reading sociology and psychology studies of youth development and more time in the Word?

What if I spent less time playing the political games that exist within our organization and more time in just being an authentic follower of Christ?

What if I had less conversations with students about going to college and more conversations about what it means to be a Christ follower?

As he said in his interview, Francis Chan noted that there's a lot of other stuff mixed into ministry that simply does not follow along with the model set forth in the Bible. Personally, I identify with him when he said that he has the desire to be liked. I find in my life, sometimes the desire to be liked in the work that I do can get in the way of doing the right thing for students. However, as Chan noted, "I don't know any popular prophets (in the Bible)."

The last contrast that Chan makes is between the church in America and the underground house churches in China. When some of Chan's friends who are pastors of underground churches in China came to the US, they made the following comparison:

In America, a lot of pastors feel they need to be famous in order to have influence and be effective.

In China, its exactly the opposite. The more influential Christians need to be more hidden and more underground. In essence, the more they are making disciples, the less famous they become.

However, I'm not sure this comparison is limited to just pastors in the US, but possibly Christ followers in all walks of life. In a lot of ways, many people place the desire to be known for something as a prerequisite to their contributions in following Christ. I know I find this tendency in myself more often than I'd like to admit. However, in His calling to us to take up our crosses and follow Him, Jesus is asking us to die to ourselves in order to bring more recognition to Him. Essentially, the less we are known, the more He becomes known.

This leads me to my final "What If" questions. What if I set all of my dreams, desires to be liked, need to be known and everything else aside? What if I gave everything I am to everything that Christ is? What if I allowed God to use me in every capacity that he originally intended to use me?

Stories

"My momma moved us up here from St. Louis right after my dad walked out because she wanted to get me out of the environment I was in there. It was really hard when we first moved up here because we were homeless. We moved from hotel to hotel, apartment to apartment."

"I described my father as a ghost, because that's exactly what he was in my life. He disappeared when I needed him the most and we never saw him again."

"Right before my mom and I moved up here from Compton (in LA), I was with my dad when he was shot. I was too young to know why it happened then, but my mother told me he was involved in dealing (drugs). That event has shaped me because its hard being 3 years old and watching your father die in the streets."

"At first, I didn't want to tell my story. I didn't think anyone else had been through what I've been through, but then I heard (the other guys) talking about how they were homeless and stuff. I thought I was the only one..."

While a lot of these stories sound like something one might read in a book or watch on a documentary about urban life. However, these are real stories from real high school students that live in my community. I know every one of the students who told these stories. Most of them are ages 15 - 17 and they have been through more in life than most people I know.

In the program I run at the Y for high school age guys, we just finished up a series titled Identity. Yesterday's lesson was "Story of You," where we gave the guys a chance to explore their identity by telling their story and understanding the role it plays in who they are now.

While some of the guys were more guarded and didn't really open up, others showed true emotion when they spoke of the events, people and places that had hurt them the most. They were telling of how painful, broken and dead some of our experiences in life can be. These guys who go all out on the basketball court and carry themselves with a tough persona through the halls of their schools, for one moment yesterday, let down their guard and opened up areas of their lives that they've tried so hard to hide.

One guy, who is really one of the most level headed and easy going guys I know, got up to tell his story. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out.

Then a tear ran down his cheek.

Then another.

Then another.

Then he buried his head in his arms and started sobbing uncontrollably.

This guy told me later that his grandfather was very important to him, and had played a big role in shaping who he is today. He went on to tell me that he had been there to watch as his grandfather died from age and illness. He explained how he saw him laying in a hospital bed, only the shell of the man who he used to be.

Then I was able to share how I'm going through a similar experience with my grandfather now, who is in the hospital with a feeding tube in his side and hooked up to machines to stabilize his body and sustain life.

All of the sudden, our stories connected in a way that they hadn't before. Since we had been through  similar experiences with our grandfathers, we were able to connect on a level that previously hadn't been there. All of the sudden, this student's story became my story and my story became his story. Not only that, but our stories led to how we both have hope and trust that God carries us through these tough situations.

See that's the beautiful thing about God. He's one who restores and makes whole. He's a God who sees us in our hurting and brokenness and suffering and messiness of life - and He saved us when we were right in the middle of it all!

All of the sudden my story becomes your story and your story becomes my story because both stories are telling the story of God. God's story is lived out through us when we tell of our struggles, weaknesses and pain. See this is God's story because "at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died" for us.

Everything changes as our stories that include so much heartache and suffering turn into this beautiful picture of redemption. Christ changes everything.

As I sat and listened to the stories these students told yesterday, my heart broke for them. I was feeling this pain with them because its part of the role we were called to by Christ. It is essential to put ourselves in suffering alongside others because it is exactly what Christ did for us when he left the perfection of Heaven to come to earth and bring the hope of God's redemption. In coming alongside these guys to walk through their struggles, part of their story had become my story.

My story is God's story because at just the right time, He saved me. This is true for any other Christ follower. And to take that a step further, as Christ followers, our stories intersect at the cross. This is where our redemption takes place. We are made new in Christ. No longer are we defined by the pains, trials and brokenness of life, but we have a new story to tell.

When our stories intersect in such a beautiful way as that of the cross, your story becomes my story and my story becomes your story because our story is God's story.

Living in the Background

Here recently, its been evident to me that God is really trying to speak to me in a specific area of my life - following Him no matter what the cost. See I don't think I'm alone in the way I tell God that I'll follow Him and surrender to Him and give up everything I am in pursuit of all that He is...but so often I find that I'm only halfheartedly committing to Him. Rather, what I'm showing God through my actions is that I'll do whatever He wants as long as it works for me.

As long as I'm comfortable.

As long as it doesn't interfere with my schedule.

As long as I'm still financially secure.

As long as what I think He would want me to do in life is actually what He wants from me.

Kyle Idleman recently taught on this topic in a sermon at Southeast Christian Church. During this sermon, Kyle said something that made a lot of sense in my life - in fact I'm pretty sure he had me in mind when he wrote this sermon. In so many words, he said the way we approach following God's will is like this: "God I want what you want as long as what you want is actually what I want."

And I'm sad to say that I've found myself in this boat a lot here recently. From the decisions I've made at work to how I've handled some situations with friends and family, its become increasingly evident to me that I'm not only selfish in a lot of ways, but I've failed to let God guide me in those situations. I've gotten in my head only a few possibilities of what God needs from me in my life and I'm content to exist in these few possibilities because they are comfortable for me.

Kyle goes on in his sermon to say that God is so much more concerned with the "who" rather than the "what." That is to say He is more concerned with WHO we are than with WHAT we do.

If we are totally committed, all in and sold out to following him.

If we are men and women who are after His heart.

If His love for us and our love for Him are the motivating factors behind everything we do.

All of these factors play into more of who we are rather than what we do. Again, I have to say that when looking at my own life, I'm more concerned with the what rather than the who - that is to say I would rather know more about what God wants me to do rather than who He needs me to be. I think I'm beginning to find that the reason behind this is because when I focus on the WHO, I find that I'm failing miserably.

See I'm starting to discover that when I focus more on who God needs me to be rather than what He wants me to do, I realize that I have a lot of work to do. I have a lot of my life that needs to be surrendered, and I need to live in the BACKGROUND rather than in the spotlight.

The words to the LeCrae song Background - linked above - resonate so strongly with where I am right now. I'm realizing  that so many desires I have in life are there because they're what I want - and what I think God wants - for my life. However, I'm seeing that what God wants is not always exactly what I think it is. I'm finding that when I focus more on being the man God wants me to be, the more He'll be able to use me doing what he needs me to do - whether that is ministry in the church or in the Y or wherever else He leads me.

As I've been seeking God's will and what he wants me to do in life, I'm finding more and more that if I would simply die to myself - surrendering everything I am to find everything He is - I will find He has something so much greater in store for me than I could ever imagine. As I start to live in the background and let God take the spotlight, I'm content with the idea that what I want may not necessarily be what He wants for me. And as I'm continuing to die to myself, I'm more comfortable with saying to God: "Whatever you want - even if what you want isn't what I want."

Awkward Family Pictures

First, I cannot claim this idea as my own...no I have to thank my friend Charlie Landis for this glorious burst of creativity!

In the program that I run at the Y, we are getting ready to start a new lesson series titled IDENTITY. The whole idea of the series is understanding who we are as people and all of the different dynamics that are in play in defining who we are as people. The first lesson in the Identity series is titled "All in the Family," which explores the role families play in shaping people's outlook on life.

After lunch yesterday, Charlie gave me the great idea of finding awkward family photos to show as part of the lesson. We are going to use these as an intro to illustrate that all families are different. These are so hilarious, I thought I'd share some of the better ones the internet has to offer. Hope you enjoy!

We're all special...in our own ways.

"Mom, I've gotta pee!" "Well we're taking the picture anyway...whether you're in it or not!"

Did they realize the creepy man was in their picture?

Wait a second, we forgot to invite Goldilocks for the family picture!

Can we get a consensus on the dress code, please?

4 generations of mustaches

Dad, I'll look angry while you flex!

Can you hurry up and just take it already?

Do you have a special someone in your life?

If you're going to act like that, we don't want you in the picture.

Grandpa: "Well if you'd cut your hair, then we'd be able to see everyone in the picture!"

Let's see your best lion look!

"Mom, I tried to tell you there's something wrong with dad!"

"Look back at me mean. Like a...like a dragon"

As I was saying, we are using these pictures to illustrate the differences in family dynamics and how that feeds into who we are today - and lets be honest here - they are hilarious!

Since we all come from different family backgrounds, its good to recognize the things about our families that make us unique. So what is something strange, quirky or otherwise bizarre that your family does? Better yet, do you have any family pictures that rival these for the most awkward of all time?